[Raiser, changes]
The screen went blank after her conversation with Vice Admiral Yan, her mind snapping into action. She needed to pack, tell the crew, write down handover documentation, arrange a transport... Rising from her desk she started walking through the quarters, absent-mindedly opening the cupboards and staring at the clothes. Inside was her duty uniform, her flight suit (barely worn), dress uniform and her quarters clothing. To one side was her training uniform, a remnant of an young and athletic CTO that once was her. She stopped, the reality of the situation hitting her.
She was about to give all of this - all the comfort, all the responsibility, all the security she had. The world around her started to spin slightly, making her feel dizzy. Stopping in her tracks, she lent against the wall to catch her breath. For a woman who thrived on danger, but only when it fell within certain parameters, this was dangerous and, in some ways, the most frightening thing that she had ever done. Closing her eyes, she took in a long and deep breath. And again, another long and deep breath. She was about to give up something that had been part of her life for almost 25 years. And somehow, it felt...felt right?
Walking away from Jack Langmir the last time, back when the Toqar threatened the Federation, was the hardest thing she had had to do in recent years. Even more so was when he had contacted her and said he was going away for a while. She had let him leave too many times and, on the cusp of the most important decision of her life, she hoped that she was not too late. It was time to break the news to the crew, they needed to know sooner rather than later, and they needed to hear it from her, not some Resources officer.
"Captain Raiser to Bridge."
Sam Redson's voice came over the comm,
=/\="Bridge here, Captain."=/\=
"Send a recall for all senior staff. Meeting this evening at 1900 hours on the ship."
=/\="Aye Captain. Sending recall to senior officers now. Bridge out."
Subconsciously, she sat down on the chair, rubbing the side of her leg. The knee and thigh didn't hurt, it was an unfortunate habit she had picked up after losing the lower portion. Because she could not rub the part that had actually ached, since it was no longer there, she rubbed the top part, hoping it would divert the nerve signals to places she could deal with. Taking in a deep sigh, she let herself relax for a moment. A moment's rest and then she would return to the fray...
She could feel her chest pounding hard being so close to Jack, his smell again awakening things that had laid dormant for a period of time. A million thoughts ran through her head, so many things to ask him, do with him, be with him. Her voice grew softer again,
"I still lov-"
The comm channel buzzed with a familiar voice,
=/\=Attention all senior staff from the station and all starships, please report to the Starfleet Operations Briefing Room.=/\=
Cathy's face darkened,
"Briefing? Us?" she was finally with the man who she had been dying to see and now the Admirals wanted to have a meeting?
She glanced up at Jack, her face full of apologies.
"Jack... I....we..." she twitched as a moment of anger crossed her face, "Argh!" she cursed.The Marswoman's mouthed the words she had wished she had said those years ago...
'I still love you, Jack Langmir'
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Capt. Catherine Raiser, USS Victoria (ret.)
Cathy Knights