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Capt. Raiser

June 28, 2012 05:46AM
The silence was painful but Cathy resisted the urge to add to her words. Her eyes swiveled to the side when she saw Dutch physically move backwards, her eyes following his as she saw the shocked faces on her crew's faces. She remained standing, her jaw clenched and chest still tight. Eventually, it was Dutch who asked the burning question. Strangely, Cathy had not prepared an answer, her words came from the heart, and, as she prepared to answer, Dutch continued with "Commander Erwell hasn't..."

Immediately, the regretful look in her eyes was burnt away with anger, her face slightly twisting in a look of disgust.
"No, Doctor, not Commander Erwell."

The fire returned to her face,
"That woman will not influence my career or life ever again, nor touch the Victoria if any of us have any say in the matter." She shifted in her position, suppressing a sigh as the fire started to die down a little. The sadness nagged at her heart as she continued but there was a deep and solid conviction as she spoke,
"A very close and dear friend to me needs me, I left him before, I cannot do it again."

She continued swiftly,
"This is a personal mission of my own choosing and one that I need to do alone." her mouth twitched slightly, she wanted to say so much more than what came out her mouth. She wanted to tell them how much she loved Jack Langmir, how silly she felt that she was giving up her career for him, yet how desperately she wanted to get there. How Cate would laugh at how the Ice Queen herself would finally resign not in a blaze of glory, not at the hands of her enemy, but for love and honour.

"Starfleet will be dispatching a replacement Commanding Officer but, for now, Lieutenant Korleon, the ship is yours." her eyes focused on the younger XO. It reminded her of the time that her own Captain, Charlie Walter, had been taken over by the Toqar and she had had to lead the Afton crew. It was a sudden change and one she had not prepared for. Ultimately, it did help her with her command applications and gave her valuable experience. But when you are an Acting CO, dealing with a crew that is both scared and uncertain, with no XO; it did not seem like a good 'experience' at the time.

"Anything else?" she asked, her right leg had started to ache from the forward pressure she was putting it under, but she ignored it. She would get to 'relax' soon enough.

"What is bothering you, Jack?"

Jack tried to dodge her question with his trademark grin and a shake of his head, but she saw right through it. She felt better now about her own situation and felt it was her turn to be there for him. All she had to do was say in that soft, calm tone she used when they were alone,
“Jack? Talk to me.”

There was something different in his voice as he replied, “I’ve always felt different than the rest of the crew, but now it is true. The only things I have that tie me to humanity are my memories and they fade with time. I fight it, but I am feeling more different every day. It is like graduating the academy and looking back at people you knew from before and you know there is now a divide that can’t be crossed. The difference now is that, more than ever, I stand alone. There is still plenty of the old me left, but I have to wonder for how long. You are one of my few anchors to humanity, yet you have your own life now and that is only fair. The road ahead looks very empty and it is only a matter of time before the road behind me fades away. For the first time, I don’t know where my road is going anymore…and that worries me. There’s really nothing that can be done about it…but there you have it”


----------------------
Capt. Catherine Raiser, USS Victoria (ret.)

Cathy Knights
SubjectAuthorViewsPosted

  Shoreleave: 11203.30

Cathy Knights1211March 30, 2012 10:43AM

  Starbase 501

Cathy Knights303March 30, 2012 10:48AM

  Command Centre

Cathy Knights228March 30, 2012 10:49AM

  Recreational Area

Cathy Knights306March 30, 2012 10:50AM

  Restaurant Area

Cathy Knights285March 30, 2012 10:50AM

  Zimmerman's

mcleary274April 02, 2012 02:39PM

  CTO Lt. Ashlyn Sinclaire

mcleary282April 02, 2012 02:47PM

  CTO Lt. Ashlyn Sinclaire

mcleary296April 03, 2012 04:29AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza304June 19, 2012 09:41PM

  Educational Wing

Cathy Knights312March 30, 2012 10:50AM

  Docking Ring

Cathy Knights302March 30, 2012 10:51AM

  USS Victoria

Cathy Knights330March 30, 2012 10:51AM

  Bridge

Cathy Knights342March 30, 2012 10:52AM

  [Williamson, heading for his assignment.]

sdavidson310April 02, 2012 07:02PM

  NPC OPS Ens. Jessica Ryder

DavidN324April 02, 2012 07:18PM

  ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson319April 02, 2012 09:58PM

  NPC OPS Ens. Jessica Ryder

DavidN316June 12, 2012 05:35PM

  ops ens. Phillip williamson.

sdavidson296June 12, 2012 05:52PM

  Quarters

Cathy Knights328March 30, 2012 10:52AM

  XO Quarters

bapaveza296March 31, 2012 09:17PM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza335March 31, 2012 09:17PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN295April 01, 2012 09:56AM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza321April 02, 2012 02:32PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN333April 02, 2012 03:06PM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza341April 02, 2012 04:39PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN337April 02, 2012 04:56PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN311May 30, 2012 10:42AM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza301May 30, 2012 02:49PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN297June 12, 2012 10:26AM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza314June 14, 2012 01:50PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN271June 14, 2012 02:40PM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza324June 20, 2012 10:03PM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS313June 13, 2012 01:12PM

  CO's Quarters

Cathy Knights284June 15, 2012 04:05AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights309June 15, 2012 04:13AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights329June 20, 2012 06:42AM

  Transporters

Cathy Knights366March 30, 2012 10:52AM

  Main Sickbay

bapaveza357March 30, 2012 09:16PM

  CMO's Office

bapaveza383March 31, 2012 08:50PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza382March 31, 2012 09:05PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN370April 02, 2012 05:07PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza319April 02, 2012 09:44PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN365April 03, 2012 09:39AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza351April 03, 2012 08:56PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN349April 04, 2012 12:16PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza341April 04, 2012 08:27PM

  FCO Ens. Alyce Ashford

A.J. Foster358April 05, 2012 01:39PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN348April 06, 2012 11:14AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza362May 19, 2012 05:38PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza343May 23, 2012 09:57PM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon & NPC MO Ens Liara O'Mura

JoshuavdS334May 25, 2012 09:24AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza343May 25, 2012 10:46PM

  NPC MO Ens Liara O'Mura

JoshuavdS366May 29, 2012 02:18PM

  CSO Lt Solon

JoshuavdS353May 29, 2012 03:06PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza287May 29, 2012 09:43PM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS322May 30, 2012 04:07PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza344June 02, 2012 07:41PM

  NPC MO Ens Liara O'Mura

JoshuavdS338June 04, 2012 02:08PM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS311June 04, 2012 02:15PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza334June 04, 2012 09:30PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza323June 10, 2012 09:26PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza567July 21, 2012 10:05PM

  Captain's Ready Room

Cathy Knights321April 03, 2012 10:10AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights328April 03, 2012 10:11AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights326May 24, 2012 12:07PM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson333May 29, 2012 10:04PM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights342May 30, 2012 09:49AM

  Chief Science Officer Offices

JoshuavdS320May 19, 2012 08:43AM

  CSO Lt Solon

JoshuavdS289May 19, 2012 08:49AM

  CSO Lt Solon

JoshuavdS262May 22, 2012 11:30AM

  Messhall

DavidN292May 22, 2012 03:02PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN277May 22, 2012 03:56PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN338May 30, 2012 06:07AM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS239June 19, 2012 12:51PM

  Corridors

JoshuavdS297May 23, 2012 10:41AM

  CSO Lt Solon

JoshuavdS337May 23, 2012 11:09AM

  NPC OPS Ens Jessica Ryder

DavidN305June 12, 2012 06:16PM

  SEC CPO Tavan th'Dane

bapaveza333June 14, 2012 01:50PM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson314June 15, 2012 08:51AM

  NPC SEC CPO Tavan th'Dane

bapaveza323June 20, 2012 09:58PM

  NPC OPS Ens Jessica Ryder

DavidN243June 24, 2012 01:55PM

  Briefing Room

Cathy Knights338June 22, 2012 11:45AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights333June 22, 2012 11:54AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza288June 23, 2012 09:30PM

  ops Ens. phillip williamson.

sdavidson298June 24, 2012 03:08PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN277June 24, 2012 03:54PM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights314June 25, 2012 07:43AM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS298June 25, 2012 12:48PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza307June 25, 2012 10:47PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights301June 26, 2012 06:46AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza293June 26, 2012 01:01PM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS308June 26, 2012 02:56PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights322June 28, 2012 05:46AM

  XO Lt.Cdr Thomas Korleon

DavidN297June 30, 2012 05:29PM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson299June 30, 2012 05:54PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza296July 01, 2012 10:12PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights322July 03, 2012 12:19PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza295July 04, 2012 12:04AM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS304July 10, 2012 03:51PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights324July 13, 2012 10:40AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza303July 14, 2012 08:03PM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson296July 14, 2012 08:34PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN299July 15, 2012 10:42AM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS298July 15, 2012 03:12PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights457July 16, 2012 10:06AM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN276July 17, 2012 04:03PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights384July 19, 2012 10:14AM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson

sdavidson433April 02, 2012 07:01PM

  NPC OPS Ens. Jessica Ryder

DavidN431April 02, 2012 07:20PM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson416April 02, 2012 07:34PM

  NPC SEC CPO Tavan th'Dane

bapaveza412April 02, 2012 09:16PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza360June 20, 2012 10:06PM

  Planet B-501

Cathy Knights392March 30, 2012 10:49AM

  Transport Area

Cathy Knights391March 30, 2012 10:51AM

  Resort

Cathy Knights414March 30, 2012 10:51AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights365June 06, 2012 07:00PM

  NPC MT PO3 Loki Tevarra

bapaveza366June 07, 2012 09:49PM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights382June 08, 2012 12:25PM

  NPC MT PO3 Loki Tevarra

bapaveza361June 10, 2012 09:21PM



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