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Capt. Raiser

June 28, 2012 05:46AM
The silence was painful but Cathy resisted the urge to add to her words. Her eyes swiveled to the side when she saw Dutch physically move backwards, her eyes following his as she saw the shocked faces on her crew's faces. She remained standing, her jaw clenched and chest still tight. Eventually, it was Dutch who asked the burning question. Strangely, Cathy had not prepared an answer, her words came from the heart, and, as she prepared to answer, Dutch continued with "Commander Erwell hasn't..."

Immediately, the regretful look in her eyes was burnt away with anger, her face slightly twisting in a look of disgust.
"No, Doctor, not Commander Erwell."

The fire returned to her face,
"That woman will not influence my career or life ever again, nor touch the Victoria if any of us have any say in the matter." She shifted in her position, suppressing a sigh as the fire started to die down a little. The sadness nagged at her heart as she continued but there was a deep and solid conviction as she spoke,
"A very close and dear friend to me needs me, I left him before, I cannot do it again."

She continued swiftly,
"This is a personal mission of my own choosing and one that I need to do alone." her mouth twitched slightly, she wanted to say so much more than what came out her mouth. She wanted to tell them how much she loved Jack Langmir, how silly she felt that she was giving up her career for him, yet how desperately she wanted to get there. How Cate would laugh at how the Ice Queen herself would finally resign not in a blaze of glory, not at the hands of her enemy, but for love and honour.

"Starfleet will be dispatching a replacement Commanding Officer but, for now, Lieutenant Korleon, the ship is yours." her eyes focused on the younger XO. It reminded her of the time that her own Captain, Charlie Walter, had been taken over by the Toqar and she had had to lead the Afton crew. It was a sudden change and one she had not prepared for. Ultimately, it did help her with her command applications and gave her valuable experience. But when you are an Acting CO, dealing with a crew that is both scared and uncertain, with no XO; it did not seem like a good 'experience' at the time.

"Anything else?" she asked, her right leg had started to ache from the forward pressure she was putting it under, but she ignored it. She would get to 'relax' soon enough.

"What is bothering you, Jack?"

Jack tried to dodge her question with his trademark grin and a shake of his head, but she saw right through it. She felt better now about her own situation and felt it was her turn to be there for him. All she had to do was say in that soft, calm tone she used when they were alone,
“Jack? Talk to me.”

There was something different in his voice as he replied, “I’ve always felt different than the rest of the crew, but now it is true. The only things I have that tie me to humanity are my memories and they fade with time. I fight it, but I am feeling more different every day. It is like graduating the academy and looking back at people you knew from before and you know there is now a divide that can’t be crossed. The difference now is that, more than ever, I stand alone. There is still plenty of the old me left, but I have to wonder for how long. You are one of my few anchors to humanity, yet you have your own life now and that is only fair. The road ahead looks very empty and it is only a matter of time before the road behind me fades away. For the first time, I don’t know where my road is going anymore…and that worries me. There’s really nothing that can be done about it…but there you have it”


----------------------
Capt. Catherine Raiser, USS Victoria (ret.)

Cathy Knights
SubjectAuthorViewsPosted

  Shoreleave: 11203.30

Cathy Knights1079March 30, 2012 10:43AM

  Starbase 501

Cathy Knights246March 30, 2012 10:48AM

  Command Centre

Cathy Knights186March 30, 2012 10:49AM

  Recreational Area

Cathy Knights256March 30, 2012 10:50AM

  Restaurant Area

Cathy Knights234March 30, 2012 10:50AM

  Zimmerman's

mcleary219April 02, 2012 02:39PM

  CTO Lt. Ashlyn Sinclaire

mcleary233April 02, 2012 02:47PM

  CTO Lt. Ashlyn Sinclaire

mcleary241April 03, 2012 04:29AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza244June 19, 2012 09:41PM

  Educational Wing

Cathy Knights258March 30, 2012 10:50AM

  Docking Ring

Cathy Knights249March 30, 2012 10:51AM

  USS Victoria

Cathy Knights274March 30, 2012 10:51AM

  Bridge

Cathy Knights288March 30, 2012 10:52AM

  [Williamson, heading for his assignment.]

sdavidson252April 02, 2012 07:02PM

  NPC OPS Ens. Jessica Ryder

DavidN265April 02, 2012 07:18PM

  ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson263April 02, 2012 09:58PM

  NPC OPS Ens. Jessica Ryder

DavidN256June 12, 2012 05:35PM

  ops ens. Phillip williamson.

sdavidson239June 12, 2012 05:52PM

  Quarters

Cathy Knights276March 30, 2012 10:52AM

  XO Quarters

bapaveza247March 31, 2012 09:17PM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza280March 31, 2012 09:17PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN243April 01, 2012 09:56AM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza259April 02, 2012 02:32PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN276April 02, 2012 03:06PM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza273April 02, 2012 04:39PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN276April 02, 2012 04:56PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN255May 30, 2012 10:42AM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza250May 30, 2012 02:49PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN243June 12, 2012 10:26AM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza249June 14, 2012 01:50PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN224June 14, 2012 02:40PM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza237June 20, 2012 10:03PM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS253June 13, 2012 01:12PM

  CO's Quarters

Cathy Knights233June 15, 2012 04:05AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights254June 15, 2012 04:13AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights274June 20, 2012 06:42AM

  Transporters

Cathy Knights311March 30, 2012 10:52AM

  Main Sickbay

bapaveza304March 30, 2012 09:16PM

  CMO's Office

bapaveza329March 31, 2012 08:50PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza324March 31, 2012 09:05PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN310April 02, 2012 05:07PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza260April 02, 2012 09:44PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN310April 03, 2012 09:39AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza294April 03, 2012 08:56PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN296April 04, 2012 12:16PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza284April 04, 2012 08:27PM

  FCO Ens. Alyce Ashford

A.J. Foster301April 05, 2012 01:39PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN294April 06, 2012 11:14AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza305May 19, 2012 05:38PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza287May 23, 2012 09:57PM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon & NPC MO Ens Liara O'Mura

JoshuavdS279May 25, 2012 09:24AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza289May 25, 2012 10:46PM

  NPC MO Ens Liara O'Mura

JoshuavdS311May 29, 2012 02:18PM

  CSO Lt Solon

JoshuavdS295May 29, 2012 03:06PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza248May 29, 2012 09:43PM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS270May 30, 2012 04:07PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza283June 02, 2012 07:41PM

  NPC MO Ens Liara O'Mura

JoshuavdS281June 04, 2012 02:08PM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS255June 04, 2012 02:15PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza282June 04, 2012 09:30PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza265June 10, 2012 09:26PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza481July 21, 2012 10:05PM

  Captain's Ready Room

Cathy Knights277April 03, 2012 10:10AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights281April 03, 2012 10:11AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights279May 24, 2012 12:07PM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson275May 29, 2012 10:04PM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights290May 30, 2012 09:49AM

  Chief Science Officer Offices

JoshuavdS262May 19, 2012 08:43AM

  CSO Lt Solon

JoshuavdS236May 19, 2012 08:49AM

  CSO Lt Solon

JoshuavdS218May 22, 2012 11:30AM

  Messhall

DavidN243May 22, 2012 03:02PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN233May 22, 2012 03:56PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN281May 30, 2012 06:07AM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS185June 19, 2012 12:51PM

  Corridors

JoshuavdS251May 23, 2012 10:41AM

  CSO Lt Solon

JoshuavdS281May 23, 2012 11:09AM

  NPC OPS Ens Jessica Ryder

DavidN250June 12, 2012 06:16PM

  SEC CPO Tavan th'Dane

bapaveza270June 14, 2012 01:50PM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson258June 15, 2012 08:51AM

  NPC SEC CPO Tavan th'Dane

bapaveza266June 20, 2012 09:58PM

  NPC OPS Ens Jessica Ryder

DavidN194June 24, 2012 01:55PM

  Briefing Room

Cathy Knights286June 22, 2012 11:45AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights276June 22, 2012 11:54AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza237June 23, 2012 09:30PM

  ops Ens. phillip williamson.

sdavidson237June 24, 2012 03:08PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN220June 24, 2012 03:54PM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights260June 25, 2012 07:43AM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS238June 25, 2012 12:48PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza250June 25, 2012 10:47PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights242June 26, 2012 06:46AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza238June 26, 2012 01:01PM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS251June 26, 2012 02:56PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights269June 28, 2012 05:46AM

  XO Lt.Cdr Thomas Korleon

DavidN241June 30, 2012 05:29PM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson243June 30, 2012 05:54PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza237July 01, 2012 10:12PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights263July 03, 2012 12:19PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza234July 04, 2012 12:04AM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS248July 10, 2012 03:51PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights269July 13, 2012 10:40AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza247July 14, 2012 08:03PM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson239July 14, 2012 08:34PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN241July 15, 2012 10:42AM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS238July 15, 2012 03:12PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights403July 16, 2012 10:06AM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN225July 17, 2012 04:03PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights323July 19, 2012 10:14AM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson

sdavidson375April 02, 2012 07:01PM

  NPC OPS Ens. Jessica Ryder

DavidN367April 02, 2012 07:20PM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson355April 02, 2012 07:34PM

  NPC SEC CPO Tavan th'Dane

bapaveza354April 02, 2012 09:16PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza300June 20, 2012 10:06PM

  Planet B-501

Cathy Knights343March 30, 2012 10:49AM

  Transport Area

Cathy Knights343March 30, 2012 10:51AM

  Resort

Cathy Knights360March 30, 2012 10:51AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights309June 06, 2012 07:00PM

  NPC MT PO3 Loki Tevarra

bapaveza315June 07, 2012 09:49PM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights328June 08, 2012 12:25PM

  NPC MT PO3 Loki Tevarra

bapaveza305June 10, 2012 09:21PM



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