July 19, 2012 10:14AM
They said that to understand how the crew was doing, one only look at the Executive Officer. And right now, Thomas was the perfect example of how the crew did and would feel. A ball of frustration, rage, annoyance, anger, fear and possibly sadness; Cathy did her best not to leave his gaze. Instead of flinch, she remained motionless with her gaze on him. Her face twitched at his choice of words... words like 'fool' and his aggravated statement about what Starfleet would do. He wanted to blame her for the change and, rightly so, this was her own choice and own making.

"Starfleet knows better than to firstly give four pips to fools, let alone transfer them to a prestigious ship like this." she narrowed her eyes, looking at him.
"I would not leave this ship in the hands of some fool. This is more than me just 'abandoning' you, Dutch and the crew. Or leaving you in the hands of someone that does not understand the senior officers like I do. I..."

She was at a loss for words, how did she explain this to Thomas under his terms. The mask was cracking, true emotion showing through the Ice Queen's eyes and on her face. If anything, she needed the man who was in charge of the ship, even if temporarily, to believe in her decision to leave... and understand that this was worth more to her than the ship and its crew. She sighed and decided on the most brutal truth,
"Thomas..."

This time, her voice was heavy with emotion, something that she hardly ever did. The words were slow at first, deliberate, emphasizing the rarity of what she was about to say.
"You lost your father to the threats that Starfleet had to deal with. I have lost my parents to the same threat, only they were civilians, not officers." she chose her words carefully,
"I would have given up everything to be there to prevent that tragic accident."

She paused, her jaw tightening as her gaze momentarily left his, before returning,
"My best friend was killed by an entity that didn't even give her a fighting chance... For years, I could not forgive myself for being there at her side, wishing I had been there to save her." she winced, the old emotional scar hurting, "Or even be there at her end... just so she did not have to cross that final bridge alone."

Her jaw tightened even more,
"I would have given anything and everything to be there." her face twitched again, "This man..."

How could she explain Jack Langmir to him?

"This man was... is my equal... In another world, another time, I would have been at his side always. I would have remained on the Broadsword, as her CTO, and forever remained as his partner, his muse... perhaps even his spouse. He was the one who carried me away from danger when I crushed my knee the first time. He was the one who knew me, more than words could describe. I let him get away from me... twice. Every time I turned my back on him in favour of my career, a part of me was broken away."

"I have been given another chance to see him and, even if I cannot save him, at least I know I can be there at the end with him."

She stopped abruptly. The hum of the environmental air conditioning the only thing making noise in the deathly silent room. She swallowed,
"Right now, Lieutenant Jack Langmir is worth more to me than this ship and its crew."

----------------------
Capt. Catherine Raiser, USS Victoria (ret.)

Cathy Knights
SubjectAuthorViewsPosted

  Shoreleave: 11203.30

Cathy Knights1141March 30, 2012 10:43AM

  Starbase 501

Cathy Knights271March 30, 2012 10:48AM

  Command Centre

Cathy Knights204March 30, 2012 10:49AM

  Recreational Area

Cathy Knights281March 30, 2012 10:50AM

  Restaurant Area

Cathy Knights259March 30, 2012 10:50AM

  Zimmerman's

mcleary242April 02, 2012 02:39PM

  CTO Lt. Ashlyn Sinclaire

mcleary252April 02, 2012 02:47PM

  CTO Lt. Ashlyn Sinclaire

mcleary265April 03, 2012 04:29AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza271June 19, 2012 09:41PM

  Educational Wing

Cathy Knights282March 30, 2012 10:50AM

  Docking Ring

Cathy Knights271March 30, 2012 10:51AM

  USS Victoria

Cathy Knights300March 30, 2012 10:51AM

  Bridge

Cathy Knights312March 30, 2012 10:52AM

  [Williamson, heading for his assignment.]

sdavidson279April 02, 2012 07:02PM

  NPC OPS Ens. Jessica Ryder

DavidN292April 02, 2012 07:18PM

  ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson289April 02, 2012 09:58PM

  NPC OPS Ens. Jessica Ryder

DavidN287June 12, 2012 05:35PM

  ops ens. Phillip williamson.

sdavidson264June 12, 2012 05:52PM

  Quarters

Cathy Knights300March 30, 2012 10:52AM

  XO Quarters

bapaveza269March 31, 2012 09:17PM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza306March 31, 2012 09:17PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN265April 01, 2012 09:56AM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza287April 02, 2012 02:32PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN302April 02, 2012 03:06PM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza308April 02, 2012 04:39PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN305April 02, 2012 04:56PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN278May 30, 2012 10:42AM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza270May 30, 2012 02:49PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN269June 12, 2012 10:26AM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza279June 14, 2012 01:50PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN243June 14, 2012 02:40PM

  NPC MO ENS Jenna Keval

bapaveza291June 20, 2012 10:03PM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS279June 13, 2012 01:12PM

  CO's Quarters

Cathy Knights256June 15, 2012 04:05AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights281June 15, 2012 04:13AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights301June 20, 2012 06:42AM

  Transporters

Cathy Knights337March 30, 2012 10:52AM

  Main Sickbay

bapaveza331March 30, 2012 09:16PM

  CMO's Office

bapaveza356March 31, 2012 08:50PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza352March 31, 2012 09:05PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN340April 02, 2012 05:07PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza285April 02, 2012 09:44PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN336April 03, 2012 09:39AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza321April 03, 2012 08:56PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN321April 04, 2012 12:16PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza312April 04, 2012 08:27PM

  FCO Ens. Alyce Ashford

A.J. Foster326April 05, 2012 01:39PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN320April 06, 2012 11:14AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza329May 19, 2012 05:38PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza311May 23, 2012 09:57PM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon & NPC MO Ens Liara O'Mura

JoshuavdS305May 25, 2012 09:24AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza310May 25, 2012 10:46PM

  NPC MO Ens Liara O'Mura

JoshuavdS332May 29, 2012 02:18PM

  CSO Lt Solon

JoshuavdS322May 29, 2012 03:06PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza260May 29, 2012 09:43PM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS296May 30, 2012 04:07PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza313June 02, 2012 07:41PM

  NPC MO Ens Liara O'Mura

JoshuavdS307June 04, 2012 02:08PM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS280June 04, 2012 02:15PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza302June 04, 2012 09:30PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza291June 10, 2012 09:26PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza518July 21, 2012 10:05PM

  Captain's Ready Room

Cathy Knights298April 03, 2012 10:10AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights300April 03, 2012 10:11AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights296May 24, 2012 12:07PM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson303May 29, 2012 10:04PM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights313May 30, 2012 09:49AM

  Chief Science Officer Offices

JoshuavdS292May 19, 2012 08:43AM

  CSO Lt Solon

JoshuavdS260May 19, 2012 08:49AM

  CSO Lt Solon

JoshuavdS235May 22, 2012 11:30AM

  Messhall

DavidN263May 22, 2012 03:02PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN251May 22, 2012 03:56PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN307May 30, 2012 06:07AM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS204June 19, 2012 12:51PM

  Corridors

JoshuavdS269May 23, 2012 10:41AM

  CSO Lt Solon

JoshuavdS304May 23, 2012 11:09AM

  NPC OPS Ens Jessica Ryder

DavidN277June 12, 2012 06:16PM

  SEC CPO Tavan th'Dane

bapaveza303June 14, 2012 01:50PM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson283June 15, 2012 08:51AM

  NPC SEC CPO Tavan th'Dane

bapaveza294June 20, 2012 09:58PM

  NPC OPS Ens Jessica Ryder

DavidN213June 24, 2012 01:55PM

  Briefing Room

Cathy Knights311June 22, 2012 11:45AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights304June 22, 2012 11:54AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza260June 23, 2012 09:30PM

  ops Ens. phillip williamson.

sdavidson265June 24, 2012 03:08PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN245June 24, 2012 03:54PM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights287June 25, 2012 07:43AM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS266June 25, 2012 12:48PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza274June 25, 2012 10:47PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights269June 26, 2012 06:46AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza263June 26, 2012 01:01PM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS278June 26, 2012 02:56PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights296June 28, 2012 05:46AM

  XO Lt.Cdr Thomas Korleon

DavidN269June 30, 2012 05:29PM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson269June 30, 2012 05:54PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza267July 01, 2012 10:12PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights292July 03, 2012 12:19PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza261July 04, 2012 12:04AM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS271July 10, 2012 03:51PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights294July 13, 2012 10:40AM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza272July 14, 2012 08:03PM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson266July 14, 2012 08:34PM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN268July 15, 2012 10:42AM

  CSO Lt Hans Solon

JoshuavdS267July 15, 2012 03:12PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights428July 16, 2012 10:06AM

  XO LtCdr. Thomas Korleon

DavidN249July 17, 2012 04:03PM

  Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights351July 19, 2012 10:14AM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson

sdavidson403April 02, 2012 07:01PM

  NPC OPS Ens. Jessica Ryder

DavidN398April 02, 2012 07:20PM

  Ops Ens. Phillip Williamson.

sdavidson386April 02, 2012 07:34PM

  NPC SEC CPO Tavan th'Dane

bapaveza381April 02, 2012 09:16PM

  CMO CDR Dey'Utchendeyorbren

bapaveza326June 20, 2012 10:06PM

  Planet B-501

Cathy Knights367March 30, 2012 10:49AM

  Transport Area

Cathy Knights367March 30, 2012 10:51AM

  Resort

Cathy Knights385March 30, 2012 10:51AM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights334June 06, 2012 07:00PM

  NPC MT PO3 Loki Tevarra

bapaveza336June 07, 2012 09:49PM

  CO Capt. Raiser

Cathy Knights353June 08, 2012 12:25PM

  NPC MT PO3 Loki Tevarra

bapaveza332June 10, 2012 09:21PM



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